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October 19th, 2006
12:50 pm - gray skies, squirrels, and unwashed dishes
hello again..
i got back this monday from two days in scottsdale, arizona. it was my first time farther west than chicago, and i am rather sad to be back. i rode on a 70-mile bike tour, which proved much more difficult to finish without training than i thought. it was the most beautiful bike ride i ever took, though, around these beautiful blue mountains which rose from nothing in the center of the desert, and seguara and prickly pear cacti as plentiful as trees. it's strange because whenever i thought about the desert, i always had this cartoonish idea of a rolling tumbleweed past a lone cactus in the middle of a bare yellow mountain of sand. but at least in southern arizona there is such a diversity of plants and landscape. there were thousands of 20-feet cacti everywhere, and again those mountains and even the sun which was different and shone straight down onto everything creating these blue shadows and a painting-like contrast which made everything seem two-dimensional and more vivid and real-looking than things appear up north. it's just such a clean feeling you have, a big feeling the wideness of the space around you... i'd have liked to stay longer.
the only disappointment was having to get straight off the plane and then closing at work, because i didn't get the day off. well anyway i've been running a bit this week, but today i made the mistake of riding my bike up to the gym, and when i got off the bike all these sore muscles i had since the tour were reactivated and i could barely move again by the time i got inside. so i only ran for about 15 wheezing minutes before stopping and coming back home to finish "the watcher in the woods." finishing the tour reminded me of how i felt when i finished the marathon a long time ago -- like i just wanted to go home so i could weep by myself in private. i also felt extremely angry, as the last few miles were uphill and i was so exhausted that i really thought i was going to cry, and i was wondering what diabolical mind devised such an evil course. but also a good feeling of accomplishment, too.
for my birthday last week adam bought me a pumpkin to carve and we spent a long time on it and put it outside with a candle in it, but the very next morning when i was coming home there was a squirrel who was eating it! so now instead of the intricate fence, jack-o-lantern, and cat in the moon pattern there is only a gaping rectangular hole and some slats of the fence that the squirrels couldn't pull out. not very impressive, i guess.. also yesterday i smoked a cigar, had some really interesting discussions with a good friend about urban renewal in the midwest and phobias, and somehow got talked into giving the offering dedication at church this sunday. i guess that's it!
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October 10th, 2006
12:56 am - free stuff, new job, wars waged
i've had some rotten good luck this year and last with mooching off of some unsuspecting neighbor's unlocked wireless signal. free internet in a world of tight budgets and limited bills is a sort of treasure palace where before me i can see browser pages opening infinitely away into the distance...hopefully these people are not hackers that are gaining access to all my..valuable..accounts. hm.
im feeling sort of restless these days and am thinking i should probably start applying for "real" jobs. i mean, i have a degree from the university of michigan that sure cost enough; hopefully it's good for something. i've been reconsidering jobs in publishing, given my interests in fiction and writing and whatnot...but i dunno. nothing ever really sounds that great to me. i think that's why i just have to go and find something, anything at all, at least to get out there and better understand my options. what i DO know is that i am not going to stay in customer service for too much longer. man. i had to work after the football game on saturday night and i swear the entire big house came into the store with the explicit purpose of heckling me. it started out with this group of about 50 french people that were driving me nuts what with their demands for splitting their drinks into multiple cups and literal towers of whipped cream. and then the yuppies, which are always the worst. their drinks are preceded by an endless string of sugarlesses and non-fats and splendas which are impossible to memorize when your mind is on overload and you just need to get everybody as far away from you as possible. i have to admit that sometimes i accidentally make drinks with whole milk or real sugar and just throw them on the counter anyway. no one ever complains: i feel like i've done someone a small service. hey, what do you know, my five dollar drink tastes good today. coffee is all psychological.
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October 7th, 2006
02:53 pm - WILDCAT!!
So I ended up doing pretty well in the race last weekend. Well, at least for me -- I suppose I'm sort of pokey. Something like 26:42. Not bad, considering only last year I was running 11:00 miles and now I'm down to under 9 minutes. The one thing I miss is that when I was nineteen years old I would win a trophy every time I would run a race, because I was always the only girl in my age category who would show up early on a Saturday morning to run a race with her father. But now I go to races and, like, the entire UM track and cross country team is standing at the starting line and I know I have a snowball's chance in hell of even getting an honorable mention in my new age bracket. Ah, well -- losing is good for you, it builds character. At least that's what I'm trying to tell myself these days. I was actually going to run a race today, but I clocked out of work last night at 2AM and then I got home and I had to watch a dawson's creek episode and eat some ice cream, and then somehow it was noon and the race was long over. yikes.
So right now I'm listening to Ratatat's new album and it is seriously the catchiest music I've ever heard in my life. It makes me want to start dancing in this coffee shop where I'm getting the free wireless signals. It makes me wish I had actually woken up earlier this morning and ran that race. I'm so lazy sometimes. It's weird, but every time there's a home football game against a major rival I accidentally end up wearing the rival's color. Like today we're playing MSU and I decided on a green sweater vest which in this sea of blue and "maize" (i think it's just plain ole yellow) is drawing some hated glances. No, people, I swear I'm not a State fan. Ah, well, the story of my life -- I'm always needing to justify myself without ever getting the opportunity. More losing that's hopefully good for me. kay bye.
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September 29th, 2006
09:30 pm
guess it's time to do one of these things that i haven't done since HS...edited.
2. How did you get the idea for your screen name? - um well i was in seventh grade and i thought it'd be so cool to misspell "cool" as "Kul" and then tack on some random numbers that mean nothing to me. obviously i was that cool.
3. What time were you born? - actually i really don't know
4. Has the death of a celebrity ever made you cry? - i was "stunned" to find that the croccodile hunter died. hoo! i crack myself up
6. Do you want a baby? - i didn't like children even when i was a kid. when i was a kid i remember thinking: 1) i like my friends' moms more than i like my friends. 2) i can't wait until i grow up so i don't have to be friends with kids anymore.
7. What do you want to be when you grow up? - unaccountably rich
8. What are the last 3 digits of your phone number? - 011..i think
9. What was the last concert you attended? - the ann arbor symphony. ROCK IT!!
10. Who was with you? - adders
11. What was the last movie you watched? - shadowlands
12. Who do you dislike most at this moment? - mean customers who shout at me "YOU DIDN'T CALL NON-FAT!!!!" when i call coffee drinks..even though i so did.
13. What food do you crave right now? - nothing, really. i just ate some rosemary-"encrusted" lamb chops. actually i just sprinkled rosemary on top of them, does that make them encrusted?
14. Did you dream last night? - im sure of it
15. What was the last TV show you watched? - a dawson's creek episode. in HS i wasn't allowed to watch that show, and just now im wonderin' what all the fuss was about. it's sorta lame but i like the cheesy late 90's aspect of it. but i also watched about a billion "arrested development" episodes this week which are seriously funny.
17. What is to the left of you? - a bald guy slapping his head. no, seriously, im in a coffee shop right now
18. What was the last thing you ate? - some homemade cookies that came out of a box
20. Write a song lyric that's in your head. - all i can think of right now is the weird jazz stuff playing right now and it's going doo-doo.. doo-doo..doo.
22. Where is your significant other right now? - across from me on our new awesome dell inspiron dual core notebook working on homework while im working..on..homework.
26. When was the last time you cut your hair? - in april. it's so way long now though.
28. Do you have a mental disease? - probably
29. What shirt are you wearing? - a michigan sweatshirt, and a red t-shirt that reads "geauga state fair: ohio's oldest fair"
30. What color is your razor? - it used to be blue but now it's covered in mold since it's about a trillion years old.
32. Whats on your mind right now? - trying to get tickets to a red wings game
33. How many tattoos do you have? - none
34. What's your favorite store? - running fit..even though i can't really afford it at all
35. Are you thirsty? - no, not with my flavorSplash wild berry aquafina bottle at my side.
37. Who's someone you haven't seen in a while and miss? - all those ghosts
38. Have you ever been searched by the cops? - no
39. Do you close your eyes on roller coasters? - no, although i still swear if i take my hands off the bar i'll fly away
41. Do you believe in ghosts? - one of my coworkers swears her house is haunted
42. Do you consider yourself creative? - depends on the year
43. Jennifer Aniston or Angelina Jolie? - i guess i don't really think of either of them too much
44. Can you honestly say you know anything about politics? - i've been trying to read the times at work every day...but then my eyes see "secret life of your nanny" human interest story on page F9 and i flip to that instead :)
45. Do you know how to play poker? - i forget the rules to all games, including poker and football. i guess it's fall which means it's time to relearn football again. um, i mean, go blue.
46. Have you ever been awake for 48 hours straight? - no way! im a very sleepy person.
47. Have you ever cheated on a test? - in german class in HS with ger we would all have our sheets on our desk and ger would yell at us but we just didn't care
48. If you're driving in the middle of the night, and no one is around...- i keep driving, i guess
49. Do you have a secret that no one knows but you? - i believe i have secrets i don't know about yet
50. Have you ever Ice Skated? - yes, but i need plenty of walls and/or tress for anything where wheels/blades are attached to my feet and i must propel myself on them.
51. When was the last time you laughed so hard you were crying? - probably right NOW
52. Do you believe in love at first sight? - no way
53. Do you know who Ba-Ba-Booey is? - it sounds so exotic
54. Do you always wear your seatbelt? - yes. if i didn't wear my seatbelt my mom would pull the car off the road and spank me, so i guess i feel guilty now if i don't.
55. What talent do you wish you had? - the talent to ROCK
57. Have you been caught stealing? - yes, once when i was four years old i carried a pack of M&M's out of a grocery store and my mom caught me and made me go back and return them and apologize to the cashier in front of everyone and i was crying. woops.
59. Have you played nintendo? - of course
60. Do you have a relative in prison? - gariepys would never go to prison.
61. Have you ever sang in front of the mirror? - i think i'd feel embarrassed
62. Do you know how to play chess? - yes, but im no good
64. Have you ever stood up for someone you hardly knew? - what's in it for me?
65. When is the last time you threw up from drinking too much? - about 5 years ago
66. Have you ever walked out on a movie at the theater? - very many times...what a waste of barista cash
67. Do you ever sit through a bad movie, just to see how bad it can get? - not if it gets to the point where im going crazy
68. Would you consider yourself obsessed with anything? - i suppose my personality lends itself to those feelings
69. Have you ever met someone famous that you really wanted to meet? - umm...i don't think there's anyone famous i'd ever want to meet. i'd feel too embarrassed.
72. When's the last time you screamed at the top of your lungs? - i dunno...i try not to be that loud.
73. Did you ever do something that you didn't want to, just to fit in? - just say NO
74. Do you consider yourself "the biggest fan" of something? - im the biggest fan of the rock of the roll..okay probably not
75. Ever went to bed with both socks on, to wake up with one or both missing? - i shudder to think of the scraping of cotton against bed sheets
77. Average hours you sleep at night? - 4.5-9
78. Ever been caught doing something you shouldnt have? - people tend not to suspect me of much
80. Are you for long distant relationships? - takes all types
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08:53 pm - a september post for the palate
whoa, hey, i haven't written a post on here in a while and everything's gone all blue and bubbly on me. it reminds me of facebook, which i disdain, and which i feel sad for being a part of, but i can't bring myself to delete myself away. by the way, i was reading a post i wrote on here two posts ago and i seriously have no hell of an idea what i was talking about. i think that was like a day before my writing project was due and evidently something that had to do with language in my brain exploded. hm. also, very sadly, my website i worked long and hard at DISAPPEARED after i graduated this year and all my work has gone to the dust. there were some tables, a mad lib, some frames... so long, google contract. oh well.
anyway, here i am still in ann arbor which is where i'll probably be for the rest of my days. it's not austria, but both places have two A's, which makes for some exciting comparisons. i was taking some computer science classes at UM, but after i realized that i would have to program on linux i sort of panicked and dropped them. and also i felt disdainful of undergraduates too. so now im just working and being re-obsessed with running like i become every fall. (it's the weather; it excites me.) im thinking of running a 5k every weekend. tomorrow im running a 5k in the Arb. then there's this midnight run tomorrow too which sounds kinda exciting but i'd have to drive two hours to get to it. anyway i was so excited i even bought a spiffy new expensive pair of running shorts from Running Fit to wear tomorrow. also, i finally quit the evil borders and now work directly across the street..at starbucks. i suppose that's all. i don't know, i just can't stop thinking about running this month. it's just so great. in two weeks ads and i are getting flown out to arizona by my dad's insanely wealthy friend just to ride a 70-mile bike tour, and to go bumping around the desert in hummers. this is what you can do if you're in insurance or a lawyer, not, as im quickly realizing, a creative writing grad. unfortunately the weather hasn't been too great this september and i haven't taken too many real rides lately, just the normal commuting stuff around town where i almost get hit by cars and almost hit other people because im an impatient person. kay bye!
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June 5th, 2006
08:28 pm - watch out for graphics...
excuse me for not updating but i've been too busy making my WEBSITE!!!!
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April 26th, 2006
03:19 pm - carnival of the animals
i realized just now that i've lost connection with the people on my "friends" list. what audience am i writing to? i've always lived with the hope that someday i can shuck my history like a snake skin, but it seems it doesn't work that way. even at my death point it is written i must present the culmination of my life for judgment like some great sphere which connects with and returns to itself at every point along an endless series of loops. the whole thing sounds terrible to me. im not of that variety that believes that my "past is washed away." our own memories should tell us that the past is not easily washed at. i am much more convinced that our faith, whatever it is, hasn't erased anything at all, that faith itself is a work, a concentrated and conscious effort to reconciliate ourselves with our fellows, our histories, our whole small and weirdly entwined world that is made up of other people and our very selves at every corner. without this reconciliation we risk everything by presenting so many fragmented shards to a judger who is as equally awful as exalted.
so. every year i am surprised by spring. in january i remember spring -- and pine for it -- but until it is actually here i forget what it does. that enlivenment that catches me off guard -- every single year! -- and throws me into so many dizzy loops. it's true i don't care for the snow and the cold weather, but would i experience all this hope and elation if every winter were balmy and complacent? is so much suffering worth it for these spring days of total bliss? today, i am saying yes. i've already been on so many bike rides and walking trips and seen so many things. the swans in the huron river, a raccoon fishing with his hands, a great brown hare, mallard ducks sleeping on the banks.
also, adam & i are finally graduating this saturday. we are talking a lot of what we will do aftewards. spend the summer here until the lease goes up on the apartment, and then..? we are very intent on spending a year or two in austria. not jumping into school again for a while, taking some time off to do something new. spending these days with him is like feeling the continuous presence of the sun. i used to think this was an elaboration, but now im sure it's not. such rich days of togetherness..i sometimes feel i could melt and be absorbed by the joy of it.
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March 15th, 2006
09:56 am - becoming unwise
right now i am thinking about how my wisdom teeth are going to be coming out!! the surgeon tried to schedule the appointment for the day before graduation, but there is NO way that i've been in school for five years to not enjoy my one shining moment of glory because im in a drug-induced stupor with bleeding sutures. nope. sorry, UM, i'll be there fully conscious, you better believe it.
more exciting is that i am giving a fiction reading April 1 either in the league or the union, im not sure which. not exciting is that contrary to popular opinion, i am NOT a public orator. i actually still have major issues addressing audiences greater than one. so...maybe i will convince the hubs to read in my place and he can just put on a curly-haired wig! (but anyone's invited to attend...there will even be some delicious snacks.)
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February 14th, 2006
09:31 am - a long honest thing..
i feel, in many ways, that i am a morally gray person. i have never been good enough for the really good people. i was never taken very seriously or respected so much among the really "in" church people in the churches i used to attend. i was always on the outside hoping people would think i was better than i knew i was. but nor have i ever been "bad" or quite corrupt enough for most everyone else. these people take me for something of a goody-goody or someone ignorant of the ways of the world. (i've always felt hurt when people have insinuated im not worldy enough, for some reason.) in certain ways i find myself swinging both directions simultaneously, embracing a multitude of contradictions in myself and finding a place for all of them. i don't know if im actually assimilating all of this as well as i think i am, or whether my psyche is an absolute disaster and it's going to fall to pieces on me any second. i'd like to think that im fine the way i am and that i don't have to fit into any categories.
more along this line, i've just never been any good at soliciting anything. i failed at soliciting my religion, i even fail at soliciting cups of coffee to customers. im not a seller; at least not that kind of seller. i know im a christian, but im a christian in a different way now than i used to be. when i was in new life we had to go door to door with bridge diagrams and i always hoped that the people wouldn't be home. i went to SEMP four years in high school, and i felt the same way then, too. i know it's not good of me to say but i need to be honest now, because i was never totally honest to anyone then, and it wasn't fair of me and i've hurt many people along the way. and i want to be honest. i need to be now.
nevertheless, there is something that is worth talking about in christianity and it is something that is beautiful, that can be told beautifully. although i may not be going door to door, i believe that door-to-dooring might be just the thinnest way we have to say something about christianity, and if i AM going to say anything, im going to say it in a beautiful way now and not rely on statistics or clever illustrations. i know there are a lot of people (like my family) who are disappointed because im not "fanatical" enough. but if i was supposed to be like them i'd be more like them, then, and less like me. i'd like to learn a new way.
i think the first way to start rethinking something is to start using a new language. for instance, phrases like "personal relationship with jesus" and "walking by the spirit" hold no content for me, nor have they ever. i've never really been able to wrap my mind around what those phrases mean. if im going to say something now i have to understand its content. i know many people use those phrases and they've attached many things to them and so for them they make sense in a deep way. but maybe because i grew up always hearing many of these word clusters i've always felt a bit confused by them. i think that when we rethink the language we use it must always become specific and personal to us, and i also think that everyone who is serious about something has rethought it in their own words and word clusters.
that's it for now, but i hope to talk about this more because it's something i want to figure out.
happy valentine's day! <3
(by and by, many of the best and most interesting people i know go to evangelical churches and i have no problems with this. im just saying that im trying to rethink everything so christianity makes sense to me again after a long period where it didn't.)
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February 11th, 2006
08:56 pm - i want to be a united states post office mail carrier
| Your Job Dissatisfaction Level is 84% | 
Your job is a disaster - it's surprising you've lasted this long.
You need to quit if you can, even if you don't have another job lined up.
As far as stressful work situations go, yours is off the scale brutal.
Almost any job would be better than what you've got! |
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February 9th, 2006
01:56 pm
it's really hard to concentrate when, every time you look up, you see two pugs with human teeth smiling sideways at you.
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February 7th, 2006
10:04 am
i can tell the extent of adam's love for me by the way he lets me blast my musical cds as i sing aloud at the top of my lungs "ANY DREAM WILL DO..GO,GO,GO JOSEPH!!!" as i sort of dance around the apartment maniacally. like it's my fault one of my earliest memories is watching daddy warbucks and annie do a jig about the stage.. and yes, i <3 rodgers&hammerstein.
i got all this stuff finally turned in for a contest that i've known about since september that terminates in about..2 hours. always last minute, of course, and i get myself frantic. i got into the biggest fight with a three-hole punch in the LRC today after it threatened to eat ten of my pages..i was bashing it against the counter and my face was all red and there was snot dripping everywhere. i would have been very fascinated to watch myself if i had not been..myself.
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February 5th, 2006
12:03 pm
and as strange as it seems, there's been a run of crazy dreams, and a man who can interpret could go far.. could become a star
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January 17th, 2006
09:40 pm - i am mysteriously accessing the internet...it comes from outer space
no one tells you that it's freaking difficult to figure out what you should do with your life when you're a child. the most they say is that you can do "anything you want," all this "anything" turning out now to be a staggering infinity of impossibilities. i secretly wish my mom had told me the same thing her mother had told her, that she could choose from either becoming a school teacher or a nurse. this just going back to what i said in an earlier entry, that there is no niche carved out and waiting for you anywhere, that this doing "anything you want" that was promised so frequently to us inverts itself into some terrible negative space. for all those job possibilities seem to be now all the things i CAN'T do -- that im not qualified to do, or mentally able, smart enough, quick enough. even in second grade, when we all had to write a report on what career we'd like to have when we're older, ben w. snatched "musician" out of the book pile before i could get to it, and i had to settle on the "author book," a very boring book to pick out of any book pile at eight years old, and, indeed, an equally tedious profession. and another one im not cut out for.
im thinking of sinking to the career aptitude test with a private dream of some excellent and fascinating job i've never thought of but am somehow already qualified for coming out on top of the list. although i know it will probably say something like i'd be a good candidate for toilet...freshening.
THIS all to say that i've been much of a sloth this past week. since i don't have any classes, i often forget im supposed to be working diligently on a thesis and spend much of my time playing mario kart (the "kart" always striking me as something german) and reading novels. i've also been running real hard again, just because i do that sort of thing every january. (although im not even going to THREATEN to train for a marathon this time. im not stupid, you know.)
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09:33 pm
she had since changed to be an engineer but as she looked out the window and followed the revolving searchlight as it widened and shortened and wheeled in its arc, she felt that she would have to be much more than just a doctor or an engineer. she would have to be a saint because that was the occupation that included everything you could know; and yet she knew she would never be a saint. she did not steal or murder but she was a born liar and slothful and she sassed her mother and was deliberately ugly to almost everybody. she was eaten up also with the sin of Pride, the worst one. she made fun of the baptist preacher who came to the school at commencement to give the devotional. she would pull down her mouth and hold her forehead as if she were in agony and groan, "Fawther, we thank Thee," exactly the way he did and she had been told many times not to do it. she could never be a saint, but she thought she could be a martyr if they killed her quick.
(a temple of the holy ghost)
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January 12th, 2006
10:16 am - a mid-january McUpdate
hello, friends..
i can't believe that 2005 is over already..nor that im 23. my brain's still stuck around the number 21, so maybe i'll go back to that for a while longer just for spice and variety. i finally found out that i got in-state tuition about two weeks ago (hurrah!), which will save me a grand total of $13,000 this year. goodbye ohio, i guess, i suppose now im a true-blue michigander.
im only doing one thing this semester -- working on a fiction thesis that will be due at the beginning of april. it has to be 70-100 pages long, and although i have that many pages (i most definitely have novelistic persuasions, my fiction falls on average in the range of 20 to 30 pages) most of them need a lot of editing. my favorite piece, "cleveland, monday evening," a 31-page modular story about a piano teacher who's in love with his student that takes place over the span of five minutes narrative time, only needs some tweaking. i submitted it to the new yorker a month ago, but i haven't heard back. (it would be an honor even to be officially rejected.) my philosophy is that i might as well get rejected by the best and work my way down from there.
otherwise i feel very ambiguous about my future. i don't think there is any job that would be fitted for me. im too shy for many things, and too snobby for most everything else. what i need is a life sponsor. someone to pay me just for going about my business, and i'd wear a t-shirt with their face and name on it every day. my only plan right now is to win a bunch of money in competitions and live off of that for a while, although i admit it's not exactly a fool-proof idea.
i've been reading some good books lately -- just finished up lewis' space trilogy and am now going through a flannery o'connor i got for christmas. adam and i spent a good weekend in montreal. the most amusing moment was a party hosted by UM's classics department that they advertised on notecards as "michigass." hum. who knews that classics professors lived such lives of sin and debauchery? i sure didn't, which is why i hovered over the cheese and cracker table in shock the whole night, throwing back glasses of cheap, complimentary wine as adam's teachers wandered by in loosened ties and drunken dazes.
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December 12th, 2005
04:22 pm
like, i HATE updating this thing in public computer sites, because for some reason i hate the idea of other people knowing im writing in this thing. it makes me feel unbearably humiliated. but..that's okay.
this last week was a bit rough. i fell down the steps at my apartment and got sick on the same day. im a bit worried because my illnesses have always been portentous of future disasters, like my body is trying to key me in early about things. i guess i did fall down the stairs..but..
i also made a cappucino for john mccain..and am wishing that the man who keeps on trying to order "dunkacinos" from me will find a dunk'n donuts. i suppose that's all; looking forward for the semester to end..
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November 27th, 2005
01:11 pm
i made my first ever thanksgiving turkey this year..an 8.18 lb guy. also, homemade stuffing, mashed potatoes, green bean casserole, Rhodes rolls, and a can of Ocean Breeze cranberry sauce i forgot to open and serve. my greatest culinary feat to date!; one thanksgiving dinner to smite them all! adam's brother nate came over and we watched harry potter while we ate..it was very nice to be in an ann arbor suddenly deserted by 40,000 people. a note on harry potter: pretty much the only dvds adam and i own are bootlegged copies of harry potter 1, 2, and 3, which we have been watching in succession since we moved up here in september. so pretty much..we are experts willing to engage anyone in any intellectual/philosophical/artistic questions/debates about any of these movies without a moment's notice.
needless to say..we saw the midnight showing of the new harry potter last week, which was extremely disappointing. to compensate for the dark ending, the first half of the movie is awful. i won't even go on about how the director made filch, snape, mcgonagall, hagrid, and pretty much all the coolest characters in the movies into one-lining comic reliefers. moreover, the movie seemed to center more around the wow!-bang! special effects than the story or the characters. im not holding my breath for the new narnia movie either, which is being put out disney, which, as anyone knows who's ever flipped past the disney channel, demands an irretrievable bit of your soul to watch any of its programming for any length of time. (trendy parents, stupid clothes.) quite frankly, i prefer the old video cassettes with the cardboard cutouts and the puppets on strings. they're extremely soothing.
adam advanced into the top four final contestants for the fellowship he applied for in october, which means the american philological society is flying him out to montreal on the weekend of january 2 to be interviewed. this is super cool because of course im going too, and we've heard from many people that montreal is a neat city to explore..
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November 16th, 2005
11:33 pm
the angel went dragging himself about here and there like a stray dying man. they would drive him out of the bedroom with a broom and a moment later find him in the kitchen. he seemed to be in so many places at the same time that they grew to think that he'd duplicated, that he was reproducing himself all through the house, and the exasperated and unhinged Elisenda shouted that it was awful living in that hell full of angels.
(marquez)
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November 12th, 2005
10:06 pm - from a to z, everything in between
I don’t think I’ll cut it as an ARTISTE. Weeks of dry spells are followed by weeks of despair and abjection. Conditions have to be just so – certain chairs; soft, sweet foods; ambient temperatures; MUST be available. I procrastinate by reading the fiction from the New Yorker, puzzling over the secret; there must be a formula, plottable. I am easily unwound, always distracted. I do think, with some certainty, that I have adult attention deficit disorder. Sometimes I dream about jobs where I work with my hands. I am thinking of taking up a new hobby: copying classic paintings from postcards onto canvas with acrylic paint. But this, too, is expensive.
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einegrossenein's journal